Summary of 2007 and Resolutions for the Year to Come

A hyperbolic representation of what I have (had) and what I want (expect). In 2007 I didn’t feel like I lived at all. Only four times this year did I feel my heart throb out of control. And in three of those moments I was alone. Ludicrous.

All of this surfaced to my consciousness during the past week. First there was the book. Then there were other things, which I’m not ready to put into words yet.

I loathe the feeling of time lost. I don’t want another year like this. I am sick of guarding my feelings, of being “fine just fine” and of “playing it safe.” I want:

• a lot of sunshine;
• a lot of laughter;
• to remember loneliness as a thing of the past;
• not to count the number of times I felt alive;
• to read and listen to at least as many books as I did this year;
• plus the down-to-earth things: finish school; get into my dream college; get more involved with KDE; etc.

I already learned that resolutions are rarely being kept, and that their real purpose is to measure how much one’s aspirations change over the years. It is unfair of me to give such an anti-appraisal, because 2007 had its nice moments, but this is just how I feel right now.

1 year, 2 days

Exactly 1 year and 2 days ago I wrote my first post here. It’s funny how the greatest of epiphanies seem to happen to me at the end of years. Here’s what the front page of my blog used to say only days ago:

You are forbidden to read any further unless you know how to enjoy the miracle of life. No, I don’t need proof. Prove it to yourself. Quoting someone famous, When you got me figured out, tell me about me; I’ll be interested.
Welcome to my place on the Web.

Now, step back, take a deep breath, and repeat after me: THIS IS SO FAKE!

If you don’t see why, I’ll explain later. I intend to write a series of stories in which I will tell you stuff in such a way that you won’t know whether they are really about me or not. So brace yourself ;)

Before I digress too far, I want to get back to what this post is all about. You! Thank you for reading, regardless of whether you’ve been here from the beginning or this is your first visit here. In the year of the rat I promise not to abandon this blog to the rodents!

De râs / de plâns

De ceva timp aveam de gând să scriu un articol despre nişte poze pe care le-am făcut astă vară la Vadul lui Vodă. Nu am găsit încă exact ce vreau să spun, şi nu vreau să trec anul cu datorii, aşa că le public pur şi simplu fără comentarii. Decideţi voi ce şi cum spuneţi despre degradarea limbii române pe Nistru…

Cică prostia umană e fără de sfârşit!

Adverbs, huh?

I repeatedly found my mind drifting away while listening to this, as it always does when I’m bored. This is one of those books which you go through without really understanding, hoping that there will be a big punchline in the end. Well, there was none.

In fact, I’m not even sure why it’s been dubbed a novel. Does a series of loosely connected short stories with NO character build-up whatsoever and American-centered humor here and there justify that title? I feel cheated :(

Unless all you want is cheap grins, don’t waste your time. Perhaps the book is trying to say that in love it’s not what you do but how you do it (hence the title), but that’s not good enough an answer to my “What’s the point?!” question.

Requiem for a Dream

I decided I’ll watch the movie after seeing certain people obsessing over it. Out of everything that I’ve seen, this one is the most shocking. A movie about addiction, obsession and madness, it depicts the downward-spiraling lives of four characters symbolically connected to three seasons:

• Summer (the dream; high hopes)
• Fall (the downfall)
• Winter (the requiem; hitting the bottom)

There is no Spring, no rebirth, no Phoenix of hope. But that is exactly the point of the movie; a happy ending would have ruined everything. I felt as if I were falling throughout the 102 minutes of it; and the end left me stranded; in shock. I will not watch anything else until this sinks in. Just like I don’t want to read anything “serious” for a while after this.

Aside from the flawless acting and the painfully powerful idea/message, this movie impresses with much more. The director uses unusual techniques for some of the tense moments, such as very short shots repeated over and over in only a few seconds, and lots of split screens. The soundtrack is, again, outstanding. The theme, Lux Aeterna (listen here), is a composition that will drag you back into the movie with surprising force. It is a reiteration of the plot in less than four minutes: starting slowly, reaching its first climax of hope and beatitude, falling, then rising again with a kind of desperate hope, then falling, quickly and definitely.

And finally, the web site is a work of art in itself. Before, you could say I hated flash; well, not anymore. But it makes sense only after you watch the movie.

Someday, I also want to read the novel the film is based on.