January 10, 2008

Three syllables that describe what I’ve been feeling a lot of lately.

Just the other day I was reading some article which claimed that everything in life feels clumsy the first time you do it. It didn’t strike me as particularly meaningful at the time, but tonight I realized something. As I was raising a glass of wine for a nondescript occasion at supper, I said the usual “cheers” (in Romanian of course), and I was surprised to notice how automatic it felt, almost without thinking! This is not to say that I drink often or anything, in fact I never got drunk in my life, and I regret it sometimes. But it made me recall the first time I was offered a glass and had to say “cheers.” It felt extremely awkward, like it was the stupidest thing on Earth to say and I was the grandest idiot in the world to say it.

Time passed, cells multiplied, thoughts got shifted. And something awkward turned into something trivial. I should learn from that…