Catch-22

February 19, 2008
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What Title?

February 14, 2008

Here are some categories of people, and what they do on this [non]special day:

  • Those who hate it philosophically.
    They are the same people who refuse to celebrate New Year because it’s “just another night.”

    • It’s just a day like any other. It’s not special. Why should I show more love today than I usually do?
    • If today is more than yesterday, I’ll regret it tomorrow when everything gets back to normal.
  • Those who hate it personally.
    • bitterly
      as in sour grapes.

      • “Everybody hates me.”
      • VD stands not only for Valentine’s Day but also for Venereal Disease.
      • “Relax, it will only get worse.”
    • sadly
      • “Why do I miss someone I never met?” (Nightwish — Cadence of Her Last Breath)
      • System Of A Down — Lonely Day
      • Try to immerse themselves in any activity just to take their minds off their loneliness.
      • Breathe over cold glass to fog it and then draw a heart shape.
      • Stare at the 56% full moon.
    • secretly
      • Big fake smile.
      • “Of course I love this day.”
      • “Yeah but will you love me as much tomorrow?”
  • Those who enjoy it consciously.
    I.e. taking into account all that the philosophical haters know.

    • “OK, so this is a day just like any other. But since everyone else is having fun, why shouldn’t I?”
    • “Tomorrow doesn’t have to be less than today.”
  • Those who enjoy it in blissful ignorance.
    • “Philosophy? Cut the crap.”
    • “I love you today more than any other day.”
    • Brag to others about their superior status.
    • “OMG!! presents!!1!”

I’ll keep adding to this list as I figure out more stuff ;)


HOW TO Enjoy Mushy Eighties Films

February 13, 2008

Like this one.

  • Don’t try to draw parallels between yourself and the characters. Ideally, don’t think about your own life at all.
  • Laugh. Out loud. At every opportunity.
  • Count the clichés. Plus the older ones. “Same difference.”
  • Notice the exaggerations and the stereotypes.
  • Don’t you like it when the characters are talking to themselves?

De râs / de plâns

December 30, 2007

De ceva timp aveam de gând să scriu un articol despre nişte poze pe care le-am făcut astă vară la Vadul lui Vodă. Nu am găsit încă exact ce vreau să spun, şi nu vreau să trec anul cu datorii, aşa că le public pur şi simplu fără comentarii. Decideţi voi ce şi cum spuneţi despre degradarea limbii române pe Nistru…

unlaughable1.jpg unlaughable2kp.jpg

Cică prostia umană e fără de sfârşit!


Cum să scapi de “propagandişti”

November 29, 2007

(you know what I mean…)

Nu voi discuta aici motive, ci metode. Cei cu motivele GTFOOH :evil:

Se împart în 3 categorii:

  • Dacă vrei să-i enervezi (are sens uneori; use at your own risk):
    • Râde-le în faţă.
    • Trimite-i direct în ****
    • Acceptă publicaţia pe care ţi-o împing; fă câţiva paşi şi arunc-o / rupe-o / dă-o unei alte persoane / las-o pe trotuar etc.
    • Arată-le vreun tatuaj cu simboluri oculte.
  • Dacă vrei să râzi de ei:
    • Întreabă-i cine îi plăteşte / cât, şi priveşte-i cum se chinuie să te convingă că banii sunt din donaţii voluntare.
    • Întreabă-i vreun detaliu “obscur” din cartea aia mare şi veche, să vezi că o ştiu cam la fel de bine ca şi câinele din cartier ;)
    • Zi-le că te grăbeşti să donezi sânge şi nu vrei să întârzii. Observă dacă reacţionează “ca la carte.”
    • Întreabă-i în câte ţări activează organizaţia lor şi vezi dacă îşi ştiu cifrele.
  • Dacă vrei să-ţi pui la încercare abilităţile de dezbatere:
    • Întreabă-i cum explică existenţa unei suprafiinţe care ne iubeşte, când există pe lume copii nevinovaţi care mor de sete / foame (sau orice alt exemplu.)
    • Întreabă-i cum explică faptul că suprafiinţa este “modelată” aşa de asemănător omului (adică: răzbunătoare, care pedepseşte, care vrea dovezi de fidelitate etc.)

Porunca lui George Carlin: Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself.

PS. Sugestiile sunt binevenite :)


Quotes from ‘The Catcher in the Rye’

October 11, 2007

I liked the tone of J. D. Salinger‘s book a lot: hilarious but full of insightful comments throughout. Holden Caulfield vividly reflects the teenage turmoil we’ve all been [being?] through. On par with George Carlin’s shows, the novel is a good example of using ‘bad’ language for a noble purpose. Thumbs up!

  • People never notice anything.
  • People never believe you.
  • That’s the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they’re not much to look at, or even if they’re sort of stupid, you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are.
  • That’s the whole trouble. When you’re feeling very depressed, you can’t even think.
  • People never give your message to anybody.
  • I’m psychic.
  • I hope to hell when I do die somebody has sense enough to just dump me in the river or something. Anything except sticking me in a goddam cemetery. People coming and putting a bunch of flowers on your stomach on Sunday, and all that crap. Who wants flowers when you’re dead? Nobody.
  • People are mostly hot to have a discussion when you’re not.
  • It’s hopeless, anyway. If you had a million years to do it in, you couldn’t rub out even half the “Fuck you” signs in the world. It’s impossible.
  • You can’t ever find a place that’s nice and peaceful, because there isn’t any.
  • She‘s a madman sometimes.
  • I mean how do you know what you’re going to do till you do it? The answer is, you don’t. I think I am, but how do I know?
  • Don’t ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody.

Some interesting (approximate) stats about the text itself:

  • the word ‘bastard’ appears 62 times.
  • the word ‘crazy’ appears 77 times.
  • the word ‘kill’ and its other forms appear 64 times.
  • the word ‘hell’ appears 281 times in the book!
  • the word ‘madman’ appears 16 times.
  • the word ‘crap’ appears 27 times.
  • the word ‘goddam’ appears 245 times!
  • and the word ‘damn’ another 125 times (‘darn’ 4 times)

Riddle of the Day (4)

August 10, 2007

This one won’t be so easy, I suppose:

What is the WTF on this page?
http://www.maxdsl.md/ctd/online_support.php
PS. Bonus points for two WTFs detected!

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