V

Păşind spre mine ai căzut;
Eram pe ceruri diferite.
(Nu ştiam, a fost vina mea.)

Tăcerea
S-a spart în aşchii ascuţite
Şi te-ai întors
(Nu meritam.)

Mai târziu am aflat
Că un da fără ecou
Doare mai mult decât un nu.

Şi aşa am rămas
Îngeri în ceruri paralele,
Comunicând prin nori,
Ne vom atinge niciodată.

Enigma Otiliei

de George Călinescu.

(spoiler warning)

Autorul este un campion la lungimea descrierilor, detaliile sale devenind de o minuţiozitate dureroasă. Abundenţa termenilor în franceză (cu presupunerea că toată lumea o cunoaşte) măreşte tentaţia de a abandona opera

Dacă romanul ar fi divizat în două părţi: (1) poveste de dragoste şi (2) despre moştenire şi familie; aş fi renunţat fără mari regrete la partea a doua. Combinaţia acestora stă să demonstreze, probabil, că drumul prin viaţă nu este niciodată o linie dreaptă. Chiar înarmat cu aceste idei, sfârşitul m-a lăsat cu gura căscată:

“Cine a fost în stare de atîta stăpînire, e capabil să învingă şi o dragoste nepotrivită pentru marele lui viitor.

Otilia”

Două lucruri care m-au surprins:

• expresia “& co.” atât de frecventă în ziua de azi era folosită chiar şi 100 de ani în urmă, în forma “et Co”.
• calificativele “fain”, “faină” erau folosite de pe atunci (din germană, nu din engleză cum credeam).

Citate:

People are Mirrors

I always thought that I was independent and that other people could affect me if and only if I allowed them to. But lately I’ve been wondering if my assumptions were correct. This article is the result of my observations and my lazy reluctance to look up scientific facts.

I am beginning to think that people’s influence on one another manifests itself daily, and that it does not rely on any previously established relationships between individuals. Instead, it works on a much lower level, one that often eludes consciousness entirely.

Here is a couple of examples:

1. If I see a girl with wide eyes, narrow eyes, or a “stuck” expression on her face, such as of surprise, I automatically attempt to paste the same expression on my face. This is not at all related to any feeling of attraction I might experience, on the contrary, the reaction is stronger when the combination of features is rather repulsive. It is probably not limited to girls, but I guess that shows where my attention is
2. If I listen to my math teacher yelling for five minutes, I get angry myself and I feel the acid rising in my stomach. This happens in spite of my efforts to take things lightly, stay uninvolved, and try to laugh it all off.
3. It’s difficult to keep a neutral expression when I see a wide smile on a face that is full of light. It’s strange. But it’s still difficult to be the first one to smile
4. After a certain time spent with a person, even if I happen to dislike them, I begin to mirror their accent and manner of speech. This is especially obvious to me when I stress the ‘r’, or utter expressions that I never thought I’d willfully use.

All this is intriguing, since I don’t normally want to mirror anybody. Perhaps it is an automated mechanism to aid in communication, but it’s pretty scary that it happens without my conscious consent. Where’s the on/off switch dammit?! It makes me ask myself who I really am.

On a lighter note, Copycat by The Cranberries just came on shuffle. How appropriate!

Copycat, copycat, copycat
Copy copy copy copy yourself
Copycat, copycat, copycat
Copy copy copy everyone else

Neterminat Uitat Expirat

Parfumul cald al unei veri
S-a dus;
Azi visul gloriei de ieri
I-apus.

În van am încercat mai sus
Să sar.
Şi tot ce mi-a rămas e-un gust
Amar.

Oraşul tot, asfalt topit
Şi fum;
Plonjează în nemărginit
Acum.

Luna în templu s-a ivit;
Adorm.
Trăiesc ce încă n-am trăit
În somn.

Din cerul singur, dureros
De alb
Se prăbuşeşte-un luminos
Catarg.

Un soare nou rege va fi
Mâine.
Nici zeii nordici nu vor şti
Cine.

Miticul lanţ nu a cedat
Nicicând.
Şi lumea asta nu-i decât
Un gând.

/etc/X11/xorg.conf

# /etc/X11/xorg.conf
#
# LOG:
# version 0.2 (2008 May 7)
# version 0.1 (?? ??, ??)
#
# NOTES:
# The touchpad acceleration options are still not ideal.
#

# xorg.conf (xorg X Window System server configuration file)
#
# This file was generated by dexconf, the Debian X Configuration tool, using
# values from the debconf database.
#
# Edit this file with caution, and see the xorg.conf manual page.
# (Type "man xorg.conf" at the shell prompt.)
#
# This file is automatically updated on xserver-xorg package upgrades *only*
# if it has not been modified since the last upgrade of the xserver-xorg
# package.
#
# If you have edited this file but would like it to be automatically updated
# again, run the following command:
#   sudo dpkg-reconfigure -phigh xserver-xorg

Section "Files"
EndSection

Section "InputDevice"
    Identifier    "Generic Keyboard"
    Driver        "kbd"
    Option        "CoreKeyboard"
    Option        "XkbRules"    "xorg"
    Option        "XkbModel"    "pc105"
    Option        "XkbLayout"    "us"
EndSection

Section "InputDevice"
    Identifier    "Mouse"
    Driver        "mouse"
    Option        "CorePointer"
    Option        "Device"        "/dev/input/mice"
    Option        "Protocol"        "ImPS/2"
    Option        "ZAxisMapping"        "4 5"
    Option        "Emulate3Buttons"    "true"
EndSection

Section "InputDevice"
    Identifier    "Touchpad"
    Driver        "synaptics"
    Option        "SendCoreEvents"    "true"
    Option        "Device"        "/dev/input/by-path/platform-i8042-serio-4-mouse"
    Option        "Protocol"        "auto-dev"
    Option        "LeftEdge"        "1400"
    Option        "RightEdge"        "5500"
    Option        "TopEdge"        "1700"
    Option        "BottomEdge"        "4400"
    Option        "FingerLow"        "25"
    Option        "FingerHigh"        "30"
    Option        "MaxTapTime"        "180"
    Option        "MaxTapMove"        "220"
    Option        "VertEdgeScroll"    "true"
    Option        "HorizEdgeScroll"    "true"
    Option        "VertScrollDelta"    "100"
    Option        "HorizScrollDelta"    "100"
    Option        "MinSpeed"        "0.1"
    Option        "MaxSpeed"        "0.5"
    Option        "AccelFactor"        "0.001"
    Option        "SHMConfig"        "on"
EndSection

Section "Device"
    Identifier    "ATI Technologies Inc RS300M AGP [Radeon Mobility 9100IGP]"
    Driver        "ati"
    BusID        "PCI:1:5:0"
EndSection

Section "Monitor"
    Identifier    "Generic Monitor"
    Option        "DPMS"
EndSection

Section "Screen"
    Identifier    "Default Screen"
    Device        "ATI Technologies Inc RS300M AGP [Radeon Mobility 9100IGP]"
    Monitor        "Generic Monitor"
    DefaultDepth    24
    SubSection "Display"
        Modes        "1024x768"
    EndSubSection
EndSection

Section "ServerLayout"
    Identifier    "Default Layout"
    Screen        "Default Screen"
    InputDevice    "Generic Keyboard"
    InputDevice    "Mouse"
    InputDevice    "Touchpad"
EndSection

An older version which worked with Beryl (but couldn’t suspend to disk):

# /etc/X11/xorg.conf (xorg X Window System server configuration file)
#
# This file was generated by dexconf, the Debian X Configuration tool, using
# values from the debconf database.
#
# Edit this file with caution, and see the /etc/X11/xorg.conf manual page.
# (Type "man /etc/X11/xorg.conf" at the shell prompt.)
#
# This file is automatically updated on xserver-xorg package upgrades *only*
# if it has not been modified since the last upgrade of the xserver-xorg
# package.
#
# If you have edited this file but would like it to be automatically updated
# again, run the following command:
#   sudo dpkg-reconfigure -phigh xserver-xorg

Section "Files"
    FontPath    "/usr/share/X11/fonts/misc"
    FontPath    "/usr/share/X11/fonts/cyrillic"
    FontPath    "/usr/share/X11/fonts/100dpi/:unscaled"
    FontPath    "/usr/share/X11/fonts/75dpi/:unscaled"
    FontPath    "/usr/share/X11/fonts/Type1"
    FontPath    "/usr/share/X11/fonts/100dpi"
    FontPath    "/usr/share/X11/fonts/75dpi"
    FontPath    "/usr/share/fonts/X11/misc"
    # path to defoma fonts
    FontPath    "/var/lib/defoma/x-ttcidfont-conf.d/dirs/TrueType"
EndSection

Section "Module"
    Load    "i2c"
    Load    "bitmap"
    Load    "ddc"
    Load    "dri"
    Load    "extmod"
    Load    "freetype"
    Load    "glx"
    Load    "int10"
    Load    "type1"
    Load    "vbe"
EndSection

Section "InputDevice"
    Identifier    "Generic Keyboard"
    Driver        "kbd"
    Option        "CoreKeyboard"
    Option        "XkbRules"    "xorg"
    Option        "XkbModel"    "pc105"
    Option        "XkbLayout"    "us"
#    Option        "XkbOptions"    "lv3:ralt_switch"
EndSection

Section "InputDevice"
    Identifier    "Touchpad"
    Driver        "synaptics"
    Option        "Device"        "/dev/input/by-path/platform-i8042-serio-3-"
    Option        "Protocol"      "auto-dev"
    Option        "LeftEdge"      "1400"
    Option        "RightEdge"     "5500"
    Option        "TopEdge"       "1700"
    Option        "BottomEdge"    "4400"
    Option        "FingerLow"     "25"
    Option        "FingerHigh"    "30"
    Option        "MaxTapTime"    "180"
    Option        "MaxTapMove"    "220"
    Option        "VertEdgeScroll" "true"
    Option        "HorizEdgeScroll" "true"
    Option        "VertScrollDelta" "100"
    Option        "HorizScrollDelta" "100"
    Option        "MinSpeed"      "0.05"
    Option        "MaxSpeed"      "0.18"
    Option        "AccelFactor"   "0.0005"
    Option        "SHMConfig"     "on"
EndSection

Section "InputDevice"
    Identifier    "Mouse"
    Driver        "mouse"
    Option        "Device"        "/dev/input/mice"
    Option        "ZAxisMapping"        "4 5"
    Option        "Emulate3Buttons"    "true"
EndSection

Section "Device"
    Identifier    "ATI Technologies, Inc. Radeon Mobility 9100 U3 (R200 IGP)"
    Driver        "ati"
    Option        "DRI" "true"
    Option        "ColorTiling" "on"
    Option        "EnablePageFlip" "true"
    Option        "AccelMethod" "EXA"
    Option        "EXANoOffscreenPixmaps"
    Option        "RenderAccel" "true"
    Option        "AGPFastWrite" "on"
    BusID        "PCI:1:5:0"
EndSection

Section "Monitor"
    Identifier    "Generic Monitor"
    Option        "DPMS"
    HorizSync    28-51
    VertRefresh    43-60
EndSection

Section "Screen"
    Identifier    "Default Screen"
    Device        "ATI Technologies, Inc. Radeon Mobility 9100 U3 (R200 IGP)"
    Monitor        "Generic Monitor"
    DefaultDepth    24
    SubSection "Display"
        Depth        24
        Modes        "1024x768"
    EndSubSection
EndSection

Section "ServerLayout"
    Identifier    "Default Layout"
    Screen        "Default Screen"
    Option        "AIGLX" "true"
    InputDevice    "Generic Keyboard"
    InputDevice    "Touchpad"        "SendCoreEvents"
    InputDevice    "Mouse"            "CorePointer"
EndSection

Section "DRI"
    Mode    0666
EndSection