Quotes from "Sloppy Firsts"

by Megan McCafferty. So I read books for girls. Big deal.

• When you say too much about anything important, it always ends up sounding more trivial than it is. Words trash it.
• After all, you can only be in a bad mood for so long before you have to face up to the fact that it isn’t a bad mood at all. It’s just your sucky personality.
• In accordance with alphabetical destiny, [...]
• “Life Sucks, Then You Die”
• I’d constantly be looking over my shoulder for the cooler friends she’d ditch me for.
• The crazy thing is, the higher my GPA gets, the more I realize that high school is useless.
• I’m a model student with a very crappy attitude about learning.
• I do everything I do because it will look good on my college applications. Depressing, isn’t it?
• I hate Valentine’s Day. [...] It’s gotten worse as we’ve gotten older. On no other day does the world find as much delight in reminding those of us not fortunate enough to be getting down with a significant other on a regular basis just how pathetic and undesirable we really are.
• This is my new hobby. I watch my life depart minute by minute. I anticipate the end of everything and anything—a conversation, a class, track practice, darkness—only to be left with more clock-watching to take its place. I’m continually waiting for something better that never comes. Maybe it would help if I knew what I wanted.
  Until I figure that out, I guess I’m waiting for the end of my sophomore year so summer can start, so I can wait for that to end so I can go back to school and do the waiting game for another two years until I graduate and finally escape to college, where I’m hoping to begin my “real life.” Whatever that is.
• word: misanthropic
• I never get to be alone when I want to.
• Right now I feel guilty to be alive. Why? Because I’m wasting it. I’ve been given this life and all I do is mope it away.
• Then I started thinking about the downside to perspective. Perspective basically guarantees that there’s no such thing as a pure emotion. Every emotion is based on how sucky (or not) something is in relation to something else that has already happened. [...] It kind of makes me wish that the worst thing that will ever happen to me will just hurry up and happen already. That way I could live the rest of my life in bliss, if only because I know how much worse things could be.
• [...] I’ve censored my true feelings more and more, replacing them with lies that I know everyone wants to hear. I’ve felt like I’ve lost my right to have an opinion, just because I know no one will back me up.
• Maybe the supreme self-confidence I envied [...] was nothing more than cleverly masked insecurity.
• expression: the higher power that controls synchronicity

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